Alexis Sánchez Signs New 5 Year Deal with Manchester UTD


Alexis Sánchez has signed a new 5 year deal that will keep him at Old Trafford until 2024. Sánchez had been expected to join Inter Milan on-loan, but Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has instead rewarded the Chilean forward with an improved contract.


Solskjaer presser“I’m delighted,” Solskjaer told Soccer on Sunday. “People say, ‘What you doing Ole, you dozy Scandinavian cunt?’ But Alexis has been different class since I’ve come in. Obviously not on the pitch — he’s been awful there. But the lad has a presence, around the canteen and the showers. Moody, short with the young lads, doesn’t speak a word of English. Everything you want from an overpaid star.”

“It’s my job now to get the best from Alexis,” added the Norwegian. “We’ll stick him on penos along with Paul and Marcus and see what happens. There’s still something to fix there, and chucking Alexis into the mix probably won’t make it worse.”


Keane intenseRoy Keane has criticised the decision to reward Sánchez with a new contract.

“Nonsense,” Keane told Soccer on Sunday. “The boy Sanchez needs a beating — not a bump in salary. Strip the lad, chain him to the pool table in Bobby Charlton’s office and cane him with a pool cue until it breaks over his arse.”

“It never did Diego Forlan any harm,” added the Irishman. “Most of his skin grew back and I understand he’s sitting on chairs again since Christmas just gone. You can’t say fairer than that.”