Ancelotti

Carlos Ancelotti has won ‘I’m a Top Manager, Get me Out of Here!’ after spending a season and a half with Everton. The Italian veteran’s prize is a second stint managing Spanish giants Real Madrid.

Hell

“I’m just happy to be out,” Ancelotti told Soccer on Sunday. “Obviously I knew coaching Everton would be degrading — it’s every manager’s worst nightmare. But the humiliation was harder than I imagined. Most days I couldn’t bear to look at myself in the mirror.”

“It will take time to recover,” said the 61 year-old. “Last night I sat in the shower for 2 hours scrubbing myself, sobbing, occasionally vomiting. The stench of Everton would not leave my pores.”

“Perhaps I will reek of Everton forever now, no?” he added, his voice cracking with emotion.