Arsenal scraped a 1 – 0 win over Norwich that could prove invaluable for their fading hopes of Premier League survival. The London club are bracing themselves for a fiercely-contested relegation dogfight.



“It’s a lifeline,” Mikel Arteta told Soccer on Sunday. “Nobody is more surprised than me that we didn’t lose. I can’t imagine how Norwich feel, losing to a team as shit as us. My heart goes out to them and their families. At the end of the day we are all human beings, no?”

“I’m certain we will be relegated,” said the Spaniard. “Each day, I tell the boys there is no hope because we are so bad at football. That way if by some miracle we scrape 40 points and stay up, it’ll feel like a bonus.”

“Football is 99% psychological,” he added. “The other 1% is extremely black hair.”