Ask Tim Sherwood

Oct 15, 2015

Answering readers’ questions this week, is soon-to-be former Aston Villa manager Tim Sherwood.


How come you never smile Tim? 

Frank, Birmingham

I can’t afford to let my intensity drop, even for a second. I sleep standing up, I haven’t blinked since 1997, and I make love wearing my Gilet. You ask the missus, she’ll tell you. Last time we french kissed, my intensity dislocated her tongue


What’s your favourite formation? 

Trevor, Edinburgh

I like to say that my preferred formation is 4 – 4 – Passion. Would Messi run through a brick wall for the cause? Would Ronaldo? Good players, but not for me. Give me 11 fighters who’ll put their head where it doesn’t belong, even if they can’t kick snow off a rope. That’s the essence of 4 – 4 – Passion


You strike me as a manager who demands 110% from players…

Jack, London

You taking the piss? A player of mine shows up at training and gives me 110%, I put him on a week’s notice. I’ll have a minimum of 120%, or I’ll have their job. You winding me up with this 110% talk?


Obviously you’ll be sacked soon Tim. What’s next for you?

Troy, New York

Bit of this, bit of that. Coaching badges probably. Maybe some punditry. And a scientist from Oxford’s been working on a contraption that will harness my intensity and convert it to nuclear energy. Turns out that my intensity is second only to the sun, in terms of potential kilowatts. And that’s not to even mention my passion. You mix my intensity with my passion, and there’s a good chance that the universe would be destroyed, according to the boffins. But cest la vie. I’d still get up the next morning and put in a shift