Benitez

Rafael Benitez has laid out his vision for improving Everton after signing a 3 year deal to manage the Premier League club. The Spaniard is expected to be given significant funds to invest in his squad.

Win

Benitez

“My goal is to win the league,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “Obviously not with Everton, but after I get the bullet here. Please God nobody will remember I managed Everton when I’m applying for my next job. There’s already a stench of Newcastle in my pores that no amount of scrubbing in the shower will remove.”

“For sure, I will make Everton less shit,” said the former Liverpool manager. “How much less shit? That’s hard to say. If I can replace many of the boys with better boys, then maybe 10% less shit. 15% at a stretch.”

“Can someone point me towards the canteen?” he added. “Is it free or subsidised? I’m fucking Lee Marvin, as you English say.”