Sam vs Charles

Sam Allardyce has insisted that he would make a superior monarch to newly-crowned King Charles. The Leeds boss already raised eyebrows earlier this week by comparing himself favourably to Klopp and Guardiola.

King

“There’s no doubt I’d make a better king,” Allardyce told Soccer on Sunday. “That’s no disrespect to His Highness, old Charlie. He’s got his way, and I’ve got mine. I’d Airbnb out Buckingham Palace for starters. I’m not saying they’re thick or now’t this Windsor lot, but they’re sitting on a goldmine there. It’s called using your noodle.”

“A lot would come down to whether I could have people executed,” said the 68 year-old. “It’s not a power I’d abuse, but there’s definitely 20 to 25 people I’d behead early doors. A few pundits, some politicians, all foreign managers. But I won’t get the chance to be king, because my name isn’t Large Samuel Toffington.”

“I’m fairly sure I’d be a better pope than this Francis fella too,” he added. “But I doubt I’ll get a crack at that either.”