Sam Allardyce has been photographed meeting with UTD Chief Executive Ed Woodward in Manchester’s Lowry Hotel. Most bookies have now ceased offering odds on the former England manager replacing Ole Gunnar Solskjaer at Old Trafford.
“People are putting 2 and 2 together and getting 4,” Allardyce told Soccer on Sunday. “Maybe the club is ready to try 300 pounds of succulent, prime British beef instead of 130 pounds of stringy Norwegian offal. That’s up to Ed, but he knows where I am if he needs me.”
“KFC,” clarified Allardyce. “I’m there most afternoons.”
Woodward admits that he was impressed by Allardyce’s sales pitch.
“Sam offers a range of packages,” the former investment banker told Soccer on Sunday. “The standard ‘Safety’ package guarantees 17th place. The ‘Delux’ package also guarantees 17th, but comes with passing.”
“But we might push the boat out and go ‘Platinum’,” said Woodward. “According to Sam’s brochure, it guarantees a top 10 finish, with ‘…lots of foreign-style fannying about, including sideways kick-outs to full-backs on the edges of the six-yard box and other greasy foreign nonsense.’”
“Mouthwatering,” added Woodward.