Cantona Slams Patrice Evra For Attacking Fan

Cantona and Evra

Eric Cantona has launched a blistering attack against fellow countryman Patrice Evra for his assault on a Marseille fan last night. Evra received a red card for kicking a supporter of his own club in the head prior to a Europa League tie in Portugal.

Animal

Cantona“Patrice behaved like an animal,” Cantona told Soccer on Sunday. “Other than when I did it, there is no excuse for booting a fan in the head. None. My situation was totally different. The Englishman called me a double-chinned frogs leg-eating beret-wearing surrender monkey. So I reluctantly flying-kicked him in the face. I had no choice.”

“People are going to think flying kicks are an everyday thing for French people,” added the UTD legend. “But I haven’t flying-kicked anyone in the face in weeks. Except that old lady who didn’t poop-and-scoop in the park last month. Old ladies are one thing, but you can’t flying kick a football fan. That is unacceptable, except for the time I did it.”

Hypocrite

EvraEvra himself has labelled Cantona a hypocrite.

“Eric should know better,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “Jesus himself said, ‘let he who has not flying-kicked someone in the face cast the first stone’. There were more flying-kicks in the Bible than people think. Scholars now believe that the Hebrew word for ‘kiss’ actually means ‘flying kick’. Puts a whole new slant on Mary and Joseph’s marriage. Turns out it was a very abusive relationship.”