Chelsea FC will be renamed the ‘London Cowboys’ from the 2023/2024 season, ending 118 years of the original name. The rebranding is one of numerous forthcoming changes influenced by US sports.


“Fans will love the new name,” Todd Boehly told Soccer on Sunday. “Every time Aubama…Auyanga….every time our offense scores a 1 pointer, all the Cowboy fans in the Boehly Bowl will go nuts. That reminds me, the stadium is also being renamed.”

“These changes are only the start,” said the billionaire businessman. “Long-term I see the Cowboys franchise relocating to Boston or New York. I’m sure our wonderful fans won’t mind taking a long-haul flight to every home game. Probably we’ll throw in 10% off any pretzel at the Boehly Bowl for those who make the trip.”

“Could someone send in Harry Potter please?” he added. “I’ve a hankering to sack someone.”