De Gea Calls for Narrower Goals After Watford Loss

De Gea

David de Gea has called on the FA to consider shortening the width of goals following Manchester UTD’s 2 – 0 loss to Watford. A miscued shot slipped through de Gea’s hands for Watford’s opener, but the spaniard insists the ball would have sailed wide if the goalposts were several feet closer.

Apart

De Gea“Why so far apart?” the Spanish international told Soccer on Sunday. “It’s like the FA are trying to embarrass butterfingered klutzes such as myself and Jordan Pickford. We have families watching, no? Please squeeze the posts together so that our brain farts are not punished so harshly.”

“This isn’t just because I’m shite now,” said de Gea. “I’ve been saying it since before I developed the coordination of a visually-impaired, half-pissed newborn foal. Ask anyone.”