Declan Rice has performed another U-Turn, confirming that he once again wishes to be considered for selection by the Republic of Ireland. The London-born midfielder played three non-competitive fixtures for the Republic before declaring for the country of his birth last week.
“No more U-Turns,” the West Ham star told Soccer on Sunday. “I’m 65% sure that I’ve made my final decision. I texted Gareth to let him know, and he replied saying ‘Best of luck Declan. I’ll keep the England door open in case you fancy flip-flopping again.’ I wasn’t expecting that, to be fair. It’s well-documented that I love flip-flopping, and Gareth knows how to flip my flop, so to speak.”
“People say, ‘Make up your mind Ricey, you flip-flopping half-breed shitebag’,” added Rice. “But those people are just racist towards England and/or Ireland. Or worse, they’re scottish and/or welsh, which obviously makes them a sort of subspecies.”
Former Republic of Ireland assistant manager Roy Keane insists that Rice should be welcomed back with open arms.
“He’s a young lad,” Keane told Soccer on Sunday. “Tell him all is forgiven, and when he touches down on the tarmac at Dublin Airport, march him to a gallows behind Terminal 2 and hang him for treason. People say that’s crazy, but there’s no room for a gallows behind Terminal 1.”
“A message has to be sent,” added the former Manchester UTD captain. “As I said, hang a few of these flip-floppers and the rest will soon buck up their ideas.”