Diego Costa Cleared After Proving he Shat Upon Prostitute


Diego Costa’s dismissal against Barcelona has been overturned by the Spanish FA, after the striker produced evidence to prove he had merely stated a fact to referee Jesus Gil Manzano. The Brazilian was shown a red card after screaming ‘I shit on your whore mother’ in the official’s face.


Costa“The ruling was correct,” Costa told Soccer on Sunday. “If I hadn’t photographed myself taking a dump on Ms Manzano’s chest, or gotten a receipt for the €50, I’d probably be facing a ban. Thank God there is justice for perverts in this country.”

“I would like to apologise to the referee,” said Costa. “It’s no way for a son to find out that his mother is what we in the pervert community like to call a Chocolate Goddess. I hope he forgives her. She is an amazing woman. Yes sir. So flexible. An amazing, amazing woman.”

“People say it’s sexist, but she shat on me too,” added the Spanish international. “And it’s not like I charged her money when the tables were turned. But as I say, these things happen in football.”