Eddie Howe

Eddie Howe has questioned whether Saudi Arabia is a real place, or little more than a media concoction. Pressure has been mounting on the Newcastle manager to address the club’s controversial ownership.


“Does Saudi Arabia exist?” he told Soccer on Sunday. “You lot in the press seem convinced, but I’d need to see a lot more evidence. People talk about maps and what have you, but I prefer to trust my gut. And my gut says there’s nothing where Saudi Arabia is supposed to be. Case closed, as far as I’m concerned.”

“My focus is on my team,” said the 44 year-old, when asked to comment on Saudi Arabia’s dire human rights record. “Who can say whether beheading someone is wrong? I know I can’t. Would I like to be beheaded? I dare say I wouldn’t. But as I say, these things tend to even themselves out over a season.”

“Fuck’s sake,” wheezed Howe, clutching his chest after being asked a 9th consecutive question about Saudi Arabia’s human rights record. “Someone charge up the defibrillator.”