Unai Emery has banned predecessor Arsène Wenger from visiting the Arsenal Training Centre with his dog Denis Barkcamp. The Frenchman has attended every training session since stepping down in the summer after 22 years, and reportedly interrupts drills to ask whether players would like Barkcamp to ‘give them the paw’.
“No, Emery won’t keep me out,” Wenger told Soccer on Sunday. “He can hire extra security, build higher fences, but I will always find a way back in. This doesn’t need to turn ugly, but I’ll take a hostage if I have to. Nobody wants to see a knife held to Aaron Ramsey’s throat, so my advice to Mr Emery is unlock the side gate and let me in like usual.”
“The players love Denis Barkcamp,” added Wenger. “Ok, he savaged Mesut Özil unconscious a couple of weeks ago. That was unfortunate, but Mesut did try to sniff his butthole. Denis probably thought he was another dog.”
“You’ll have to ask Mesut,” replied Wenger, when asked why the German had put his nose to the canine’s butthole.
Unai Emery has warned Wenger that he will enforce the ban by any means necessary.
“I respect Mr Wenger,” the Spaniard told Soccer on Sunday. “Nobody wants to see him shot scaling the fence, his lifeless body tangled up in the barbed wire with blood weeping from a single bullet hole between his eyes onto a howling Denis Barkamp below. But I have my hunting rifle, and so help me, I’ll take the shot if it’s there.”