FA Order Dele Alli to Eat Chicken Balls From Fraggle Wok

Dele Alli

Dele Alli has been ordered by the FA to eat a portion of sweet and sour ‘Chicken Balls’ from North London-based Chinese takeaway ‘Fraggle Wok’. The midfielder was charged with misconduct for mocking the Coronavirus outbreak, prompting the FA to choose a punishment that appeases the Asian community.

Death

Mourinho“Of course, we will appeal,” José Mourinho told Soccer on Sunday. “Eating from Fraggle Wok is dicing with death even without a pandemic. I had the shits for a month after a dodgy Chow Mein in May 2015. It took the gloss off winning the league with Chelsea — or applied a brown gloss, depending on how you look at it.”

“Dele is a strong boy,” said the former Real Madrid manager. “But Fraggle Wok? I have a Smith & Wesson at home. The FA should let Dele place a bullet into the chamber, spin the barrel, place it to his temple and pull the trigger.”

“Give the boy a fighting chance,” added Mourinho.