FA to Probe Gender of England International Sally Thompson

England Womens Team

The FA have confirmed that they will probe the gender of Sally Thompson before the Lionesses’ Group D World Cup clash against Japan on Wednesday. Dozens of fans expressed concern about Thompson’s stubbled complexion during England’s narrow win against Argentina.

Woman

Thompson“Bollox,” Thompson told Soccer on Sunday. “I’m all woman. Any of these FA slags try to root around under my skirt, they’ll be shitting out their own teeth for a week. People see a woman pissing standing up with a pair of big, huge hairy balls flapping about in the wind, and they jump to all sorts of conclusions.”

“Gender isn’t binary,” added Thompson. “And anyone who says it is, I’ll overpower them and smash their bigot faces in. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m meeting the girlies for Afternoon Tea.”