Guardiola Charged With Building Political Snowman

Guardiola Snowman

Pep Guardiola has been charged by the Football Association for building a politically-charged snowman. The City manager already has outstanding charges for wearing a yellow ribbon in support of imprisoned Catalan politicians.

Snowman

“The guidelines on snowmen are clear,” FA chairman Greg Clarke told Soccer on Sunday. “Carrots for noses, stones for eyes, scarf, hat — all fine. Swastikas and the like, not fine. Mr Guardiola has 24 hours to destroy that snowman, or we’ll come with a bulldozer and flatten that filthy snowman and the adjacent property. I don’t care if his family are in the house, we’ll flatten everything in a mile radius of that filthy frozen devil.”

“They just are,” added Clarke when asked why poppies are mandatory on snowmen, when other political symbols are banned. “I see James McClean tweeted a picture of a snowman with no poppy on it. I mean, does he want his house bulldozed? Because if that’s what he wants, keep building snowmen without poppies. I’d be happy to come through his kitchen wall on a Dozemaster 5000 while he’s eating breakfast with his young family.”