Pep Guardiola has criticised the lack of a credible challenger to what many fear will now be a canter for City to the league title. The Manchester club sit 7 points clear and have won 14 matches in a row across all competitions.


“The league is in the bag,” Guardiola told Soccer on Sunday. “That’s not being disrespectful to UTD, Liverpool, Chelsea or Leicester — all of whom are shite. The truth is we could probably play with a microwave oven as goalkeeper from now until May and still breeze the title by 15 points.”

“I feel sorry for the fans,” said the 50 year-old. “Perhaps we can mix the teams for some games to make it exciting, or tell Gundogan we’re playing at home when we’re really playing away. We have to try something, because otherwise I’ll take a toaster into the bath to end the boredom.”

“Someone give us a decent game, for fuck’s sake,” yawned Guardiola, a small amount of drool hanging from the corner of his mouth.