Guardiola Sacked And Possibly Killed Following Chelsea Defeat

Guardiola sacked

Pep Guardiola has been sacked and possibly killed following Manchester City’s 2 – 0 loss to title rivals Chelsea at Stamford Bridge yesterday evening. City had been in pole position following an unbeaten start to the season, but owner Sheikh Mansour moved quickly to remove and possibly kill Guardiola following the defeat.

Sideshow

Sheikh Mansour“We’d like to thank Pep for all his work,” Sheikh Mansour told Soccer on Sunday. “I don’t want to be drawn into a whole Did we kill him, Didn’t we kill him sideshow. What’s important now is that we find the right man to steady the ship after the Chelsea loss. Who tortured and beheaded who is a question that can wait for another day.”

“The well-being of Manchester City is the priority,” added Mansour. “Not whether or not the carcass of Pep Guardiola is now cemented into the foundations of a new 5-star luxury resort in Abu Dahbi. Let’s not be distracted by silly stuff.”

Denial

KloppJürgen Klopp denies that Guardiola’s sacking and possible murder has tipped the title race in Liverpool’s favour.

“No, we can’t afford to think like that,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “I tell my players, we can’t rely on barbaric petrostates to kill our rivals. Sure, if the UAE or whoever kills the odd Guardiola, we’ll take it. But we must kill our rivals ourselves on the pitch, with football.”