Maguire Ears

Harry Maguire is facing surgery after injuring himself while celebrating his goal against Albania on Friday. The defender perforated both eardrums and could be unavailable for 2 months.

Fingers

Maguire

“It was just one of those things,” Maguire told Soccer on Sunday. “I’ve jammed my fingers into my ears as a sod you to the critics, but I’ve gone too far in and caused permanent damage. It was only when I got home and realised I was stone deaf that the penny dropped.”

“Doctors say I’ll get 20% of my hearing back after surgery,” said the UTD captain. “But my left finger went right through the ear canal and punctured my brain. Now I can’t remember the first 25 years of my life, but I can somehow calculate Pi to 150 decimal places. So it’s swings and roundabouts, I guess.”

“No,” he added, when asked if in future he’ll avoid putting his fingers into his ears. “This will only make me more determined to stick my fingers the right distance into my ears.”