Henry: “I’ll Make Aston Villa Less Shite Again”

Henry Villa

Thierry Henry has vowed to restore Aston Villa to their rightful place as Premier League whipping boys within one season. The Arsenal legend has verbally agreed to replace Steve Bruce at Villa Park, and insists the Birmingham club can be less shite again.

Forget

Henry“Why not?” the Frenchman told Soccer on Sunday. “People forget that it’s only a couple of years since Villa were a Premier League laughing stock. Getting the holes spanked off them week-in, week-out by some of the best clubs in the world. Why could that not be true again? It’s my job now to get the club back to where they belong, scraping fourth-last every season by the hair of their bollox.”

“We need the fans behind us,” added Henry. “If they want to see the finest players in the world at Villa Park, putting three or four past us every week, everybody needs to pull together. I promise these West Midland yokels, Villa Park can once again become — maybe not a fortress — but certainly some kind of rusty pig barn that the pigs seem able to just walk in and out of, on all sides.”