Roy Hodgson has admitted that his Palace side could be the first ever Premier League team to go a full season without scoring. The Eagles are rooted to the foot of the table, having failed to find the net in any of their opening seven fixtures.
Realistic
“Fans need to be realistic,” the former England manager told Soccer on Sunday. “A goal before May is a big ask. Maybe we’ll fluke one in off a defender’s arse, but I’d not hold my breath. I look around the dressing room, and it’s quite depressing. Good honest lads, but horrible footballers. I’m not saying anything that I haven’t said to their faces, to be fair.”
“It’s good to dream,” added Hodgson. “And it’s good to have hope. But a goal? This season? My message to the fans is, pull your heads out of your arses you cockney numbskulls.”
Negative
Cristian Benteke has accused his manager of negativity.
“It’s well documented that we’re shite,” the former Liverpool striker told Soccer on Sunday. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t score a goal. I told the gaffer that I have scored goals in the past, but he insisted they were all flukes, and said he’ll personally see to it that I get no supply from midfield. Then he fined me a week’s wages for giving the team false hope.”
Relegation
Hodgson insists that relegation is now unavoidable.
“Our goose is cooked,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “It’s like I told the England boys at halftime in the Iceland game. I said, ‘We’re doomed lads. It’s over. But let’s get out there and show everyone how to get the hole spanked off you with dignity.'”