Ian Wright has threatened to behead Oscar-nominated actor Liam Neeson with a chainsaw, the Match of the Day pundit confirmed today. Neeson found himself in hot water this week after telling a journalist that he once courted violence with random black men during his younger years.
“I’ll kill that Liam Neeson shitebag,” Wright told Soccer on Sunday. “When I heard his comments, I went straight to Kitty O’Shea’s and stood outside, hoping a drunken Irishman would stumble into the smoking area and make eye contact so I could behead them. I was there four nights in a row and nobody came near me. Might have been the chainsaw, now that I think of it.”
“I don’t know where that rage against the Irish comes from,” said the former Arsenal striker. “We’ve all felt that urge to behead an Irishman when we see Mrs Brown’s Boys on the TV, but I can’t control that thirst for Irish blood any longer.”
“I won’t have peace until I behead Liam Neeson,” he added. “Or anybody Irish, to be fair. A randomer with the name Murphy will do, even if they only qualify through the granny rule.”
“Is Bob Geldof still alive?” said Wright. “Does anyone have his address?”