“I’m Overdue a Howler,” Admits Jordan Pickford

Pickford

Jordan Pickford admits that he is long overdue a howler having not played a competitive game since football was suspended in mid-March. The England shot-stopper has identified this evening’s Merseyside derby as a likely occasion for a meltdown.

Howler

Pickford“There’s a howler coming,” Pickford told Soccer on Sunday. “I can feel it, and I’m sure the fans can too. The derby’s always a good opportunity to get a howler out of my system and reset for the next one. It’s water off a duck’s back after the first hundred or so.”

“No,” said the Everton keeper, when asked if howlers are something he could eliminate from his game. “It’s well-documented that my arms are shorter than my hands. So I’m up against it, to be fair.”

“I did one of those genealogy tests,” added Pickford. “Turns out that an uncle on my mam’s side 65 million years ago was an actual T-Rex. Mystery solved.”