Irish Footballer Whose Death was Faked, Found Dead

Ballybrack

Irish football is today mourning the death of amateur footballer Fernando Lafuente Saiz, whose death was recently faked by Ballybrack FC to secure a match postponement. In a cruel twist of fate, the Spaniard died during a freak hang-gliding accident shortly after taking part in a radio interview during which he confirmed he was alive.

Hope

Mick McCarthy“Could be Fernando just doing a Fernando,” Irish international manager Mick McCarthy told Soccer on Sunday. “We all know what Nando’s like. Dead one minute, alive the next. Is he really dead this time? A piece of me hopes so, because I don’t appreciate being messed about.”

“But this is Fernando we’re talking about,” added McCarthy. “I won’t believe it until I see a corpse in the morgue, and poke it with a stick and sniff it or someth’.”

Body

DelaneyFootball Association of Ireland CEO John Delaney insists that Mr Saiz is dead.

“Fernando’s brown bread,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “Do we have a body? No. Was his ATM card used since the accident? Yes, several times. Did someone claiming to be Fernando ring me to say he’s alive? Yes, it was actually a video call. Does any of this convince me that he’s alive? Of course not. The boy is dead. Move along.”