Jordan Henderson Plays First Ever Forward Pass

Jordan Henderson

The football world is still reeling following Jordan Henderson’s first ever forward pass during Liverpool’s victory at Brighton. All Henderson’s previous passes at club and international level had travelled sideways or backwards, until the 37th minute yesterday when he unexpectedly poked the ball forward to Robert Firmino.

Shock

Henderson“I’m still in shock,” the English international told Soccer on Sunday. “I never lost hope that I’d make a forward pass one day, but I’m 28 now and you do start to wonder if the window is closing.”

“It happened so fast,” added Henderson. “I wanted to go sideways to Wijnaldumsy or backwards to Van Dijksy, and next thing I’ve toe-poked it forward to Firminosy. Both teams stopped and the whole stadium went quiet. You could hear a pin drop. ‘Jesus Fucking Christ’, I heard the gaffer say over by the dugout. I seen Milly and a couple of the subs bless themselves and the 4th official’s passed out.”

“It’s been a hard road,” said the Liverpool captain. “It’s well documented that my parents were killed in a plane crash over Greenland and I was raised by a family of crabs near the wreckage. So scuttling sidewards is all I knew for the first 7 years of my life. When I first saw a human walking forward, I charged sidewards at the lad and started pinching him. So making a forward pass is a huge step sideways for me, to be fair.”