Klopp Apologises for Spying on City Training Session

Klopp spying on Pep

Jürgen Klopp has apologised after he was snapped loitering around Manchester City’s training ground during Pep Guardiola’s morning session. The German was dressed incognito, and appeared to be taking notes.

Cheating

Guardiola Bored“It’s cheating,” Guardiola told Soccer on Sunday. “I walked over and said, ‘Is that you Jürgen?’ He denied it and insisted he’s just a random pervert who likes to masturbate in bushes. The JK on his jacket stands for Jimbob Knife, he said. I’m pretty sure that’s not even a real name.”

“I pulled off his fake nose and glasses and said, ‘You’re better than this Jürgen’,” added the former Barcelona manager. “Klopp glanced over my shoulder and said, ‘Jesus Christ, what the fuck is that?’ I looked behind, and when I turned back he was halfway across the field screaming ‘Up yours Pep, you Catalan shitebag.'”

Disrespect

KloppKlopp insists that he meant no disrespect to his title rivals.

“Spying is part of the game,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “Sam Allardyce once spent three days hidden under my bed, taking notes about my phone calls and eavesdropping on my lovemaking.”

“The smell eventually gave him away,” added Klopp. “And the snoring, which we had believed to be small earth tremors. Did I complain? No. I dragged Sam from under the bed by his jowls, shook his hand and dropped him to the nearest McDonalds. This is normal.”