Klopp: “How Does Solskjaer Keep Pulling Penalties Out of his Hairy Norwegian Arse?”

Klopp and Ole

Jürgen Klopp has continued to question the quantity of penalties awarded to UTD during recent seasons, in contrast with title rivals Liverpool. Solskjaer has enjoyed more Premier League spot-kicks than Klopp in less than half the time, according to the German.

Arse

Klopp“Ole is a nice guy,” Klopp told Soccer on Sunday. “But how does he keep pulling penalties out of his hairy Norwegian arse? An opponent farts sideways at Rashford or whoever, boom — penalty. Sadio Mané would need to be beheaded to get a sniff, and even then it would be overturned by those VAR cunts, if you’ll pardon my language.”

“Maybe it’s a magical power,” said the former Dortmund manager. “Ole looks a bit like Harry Potter, maybe after some hard years in a Bangkok prison. Which is exactly were I think some of these referees and VAR cunts should be, if you’ll pardon my language again.”

“Just share the penos around,” added Klopp, crushing a glass of water in his hand and requiring a bandage to stem the bleeding.