Jürgen Klopp has continued to question the quantity of penalties awarded to UTD during recent seasons, in contrast with title rivals Liverpool. Solskjaer has enjoyed more Premier League spot-kicks than Klopp in less than half the time, according to the German.

Arse

“Ole is a nice guy,” Klopp told Soccer on Sunday. “But how does he keep pulling penalties out of his hairy Norwegian arse? An opponent farts sideways at Rashford or whoever, boom — penalty. Sadio Mané would need to be beheaded to get a sniff, and even then it would be overturned by those VAR cunts, if you’ll pardon my language.”

“Maybe it’s a magical power,” said the former Dortmund manager. “Ole looks a bit like Harry Potter, maybe after some hard years in a Bangkok prison. Which is exactly were I think some of these referees and VAR cunts should be, if you’ll pardon my language again.”

“Just share the penos around,” added Klopp, crushing a glass of water in his hand and requiring a bandage to stem the bleeding.