Klopp

Jürgen Klopp has been spotted with a charity bucket outside Aldi, appealing to shoppers for loose change. The German is hoping to cobble together funds for a summer Jude Bellingham bid.

Skint

Klopp

“We’re skint,” Klopp told Soccer on Sunday. “So we must search for solutions with buckets and all these kinds of things. Milly and Trent will ‘white collar’ box to raise cash too. Hopefully Milly thumps the head off him, as this might also solve a different problem.”

“Jude is a player I admire,” said the 55 year-old. “So long as nobody else bids and Dortmund accept a small fee in shrapnel — and so long as the boy is prepared to play for free more or less, then I am optimistic. If not, then Arthur Melo will probably be captain for the next 6 years.”

“That reminds me, has anyone seen Melo?” he added. “Is the cunt even still here? Someone check that please.”