Lallana to be Like “New Signing” for Sixth Season in a Row

Klopp and Lallana

Fit-again playmaker Adam Lallana will be like a ‘new signing’ according to Jürgen Klopp, for the sixth season in succession. Lallana has struggled for fitness this decade, but Klopp is convinced that the midfielder still has plenty to offer before he retires next year (or the year after).

Cool

Klopp“Adam is a cool guy,” the German told Soccer on Sunday. “Brittle as a whore’s virginity, as we say in the Black Forest. But if he can string a few matches together without his hamstrings doing a Michael Owen, then for sure he will be like a new signing.”

“Obviously not a signing that would excite the fans or children,” said Klopp. “More like when you bring in some Eastern European randomer on a ‘free’ to be fourth choice in about seven different positions. The guy who when you read he’s left, you say, ‘Oh, I thought he was gone years ago.'”

“And then a few years later you read he died in some weird circumstances,'” added Klopp. “And you ask your assistant, ‘Is that whatshisface?'”

Pain

Sturridge in a carFormer Liverpool striker Daniel Sturridge believes Lallana must play through the pain barrier.

“The lad’s stealing a wage,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “Some will say people in glass ambulances shouldn’t throw crutches, but if I was Jürgen I’d tell Adam to sling his hook. I mean the lad’s as brittle as a whore’s flange, as we say in the Black Country.”