Kid and VAR

Frank Lampard’s 3 year-old daughter has slammed the officiating during Everton’s 1 – 0 loss to Manchester City. VAR Chris Kavanagh declined to award a penalty for what appeared a clearcut handball.


“Shocking,” Francis Lampard (3) told Soccer on Sunday. “Dad’s spent all week preparing the lads, and along comes this Chris Kavanagh cunt to make him look a right mug. Dad’s a sweetheart, but people take liberties when you’re too nice. If someone down at the Montessori mugged me off like Kavanagh, I’d fuck them up.”

“Where’s the consistency?” said the toddler. “I don’t know whether this Kavanagh slag is taking brown envelopes or needs glasses, but it feels we’re talking about VAR every weekend. The game’s gone, if you ask me.”

“Fucking Putin,” she muttered, leafing through a copy of the Daily Mail.