Burnley Messi

Lionel Messi has arrived at Turf Moor to discuss a possible transfer to Burnley following his failure to secure a new contract with Barcelona. The 6 time Ballon d’Or winner is available as a free agent.

Mixer

Dyche

“It was a good talk,” Sean Dyche told Soccer on Sunday. “I explained my vision, and he vomited into a nearby peddle bin. But once he overcame the shock, I think he relished the sound of endless balls being pumped into the mixer, aerial duels, living on scraps and chasing lost causes in the channels.”

“Obviously money could be an issue,” said the 50 year-old. “The chairman is prepared to push the boat out and give Lionel a generous dry cleaning allowance, and use of a 2014 Ford Fiesta on the weekends. So long as he throws a few quid of petrol into it.”

“The ball’s in Lionel’s court now,” he added.