Liverpool have asked the Premier League for permission to allow injured defender Virgil Van Dijk play while using crutches. The unusual request comes as the champions look to address their defensive frailty.
“It’s not ideal,” Jürgen Klopp told Soccer on Sunday. “Nobody is jumping for joy about fucking Big Virg out onto the pitch with a pair of crutches. Probably he will become more injured. It’s a stupid idea if I’m honest, but we’ve tried everything else.”
“Big Virg trained on crutches with the team yesterday,” said the German. “He was awful, grew frustrated, and then belted Mo over the head with a crutch. Mo grabbed the other crutch and soon it was like a shit lightsaber battle. Shaq waddled in like Yoda to separate them and then everything was fine.”
“Pickford,” muttered Klopp, crushing the glass of water in his hand and allowing blood to stream from between his knuckles.