Liverpool Lakers

Liverpool co-owner LeBron James has submitted proposals for the club to be rebranded as the ‘Merseyside Lakers’ from 2022. The basketball superstar was made a partner in FSG this week, thereby increasing his ownership stake in the club.

Changes

“‘Liverpool’ is boring,” James told Soccer on Sunday. “Rebranding as the ‘Merseyside Lakers’ will add some X-Factor. And the stuffy old red jerseys have to go too. There’s nothing in FIFA’s rules about jerseys, so I’m thinking probably yellow singlets from next season. And sneakers, obviously. Fuck studs.”

“‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ is definitely out,” said the 36 year-old. “I’ve asked DMX to write a new anthem with all the elements — the history of the Merseyside Lakers, Shankly, King Kenny, and a catchy chorus about bling and bitches and hoes.”

“Anfield?” added James. “I’m thinking maybe, ‘The Scouse Bowl’?”