Harry Maguire has been downgraded from professional footballer to ‘a random man’ on Wikipedia, with his career biography also erased. The defender committed his latest howler during UTD’s defeat to Sevilla on Thursday.
Shite
“It stings,” Maguire told Soccer on Sunday. “Nobody likes being downgraded on Wikipedia, but it’s my job now to prove that calling myself a professional footballer isn’t classed as misinformation. Obviously I’m shite at football, which complicates things. But I’ve never shied away from a challenge.”
“There’s always pressure,” said the UTD captain. “Wikipedia said that if I don’t stop playing shite, I’ll be downgraded from ‘Random Man’ to ‘Dozy Lummox’, and the page for Lummox will have a picture of me and link back to my page. All of this just motivates me to be less shite.”
“Ironically, I’ve been upgraded on PornHub,” he added. “The missus uploaded one or two naughty videos, and now I’m called Harry the Jack Hammer. So it’s swings and roundabouts.”