Levy and Lunch lady

Spurs have sacked canteen worker Dorris White (63) following their 6 – 1 demolition at the hands of Newcastle on Sunday. The club have been without a manager since dispensing with Antonio Conte last month.


Daniel Levy

“I’d like to thank Dorris,” Spurs Chairman Daniel Levy told Soccer on Sunday. “She’s given Spurs 38 years of loyal service, but the board feel it’s time to explore other canteen ladies. Her casseroles have tasted a little flat of late, and that flatness has been reflected in results on the pitch.”

“Certainly not,” said the 61 year-old, when asked if the canteen worker has been scapegoated. “A lacklustre shepherd’s pie might account for 3 or 4 of Sunday’s goals, but the players also have to bear some responsibility. They’re the ones on the pitch.”

“Make no mistake, the players have gotten Dorris sacked,” he added. “And if UTD spank us on Thursday, they’ll have gotten O’Brien the kit man sacked too.”

Mr O’Brien (66) was unavailable for comment.