Walker and MBappe

Kylian Mbappé has predicted a torrid evening for Kyle Walker when England take on France in Saturday’s World Cup quarter-final. The forward has been in scintillating form, leading the race for the Golden Boot with 5 goals.

Arse

Mbappé

“I respect Kyle,” Mbappé told Soccer on Sunday. “But sweet lord, I’m going to tear him a new arse. If this Gareth Northgate spoofer has a shred of humanity, he’ll play without a right-back and just let me bomb up and down through an empty space. Or play Alexander-Arnold, which is effectively the same thing.”

“My heart goes out to Kyle’s children,” said the 23 year-old. “Nobody should have to see their father ripped a new anus in front of the world. Will they ever respect him again? We can only pray the trauma doesn’t send them down a road of drug-taking and prostitution in later life.”

“I’ve set up a GoFundMe for the Walker family,” he added. “They’ll need long-term support after Saturday.”