McGregor to Play Real Madrid in Football Match

Conor McGregor and Ronaldo

Conor McGregor has agreed to play twelve-time Champions League winners Real Madrid in a one-off football match next summer. The UFC champion lasted 10 rounds against Floyd Mayweather in his boxing debut, and is eager to continue crossing sport boundaries.

FIFA

McGregor presser“I am football,” McGregor told Soccer on Sunday. “I run FIFA. These Madrid players are too soft. Too slow. I will beat them inside of one half. Yes, there’s 11 of them against 1 of me. But they will not sustain my pace. I will press them high. I’ll play three at the back on my own. I’ll play in the hole behind the front man, who is also me. I will be the first player in history to play a one-two with himself.”

“Fuck Ronaldo,” added the Irishman. “I will win the Ballon d’Or and I will bounce it off his stupid head. And when I have beaten Real Madrid, I may stick around to win the World Cup. And if Pelé doesn’t like it, I’ll knock that wrinkly-cocked old shitebag the fuck out.”

Ronaldo

Ronaldo PresserCristiano Ronaldo believes that Madrid have the upperhand.

“We’re not taking McGregor lightly,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “He’s never kicked a ball, but he’s a world class athlete. Our game plan will be to shut up shop for the first twenty minutes, eleven men behind the ball. Let him huff and puff and shoot from range. Then when he’s cream-crackered, we’ll hit him on the break. Bish-bash-bosh, a 1 – 0 smash and grab.”

“A lot is on the line,” added the four-time world player of the year. “If we don’t beat McGregor, football is dead. I hear he played Barcelona in a friendly behind closed doors and drew nil-all. Messi missed a penalty, but McGregor hit the post twice and had 72% possession. I don’t know why we’re even doing this, to be honest. Seems risky.”