Messi Newcastle

Lionel Messi has agreed personal terms for a shock transfer to Newcastle UTD, pending completion of the club’s takeover by Saudi investment group PCP. The Argentinian is believed to have been offered twice his current £640k per-week salary.


“I have a contract with Barcelona,” Messi told Soccer on Sunday. “But for sure, playing for Newcastle has always been a dream. Señor Ashley sent me pictures of the beautiful beaches of Newcastle, told me that Spanish is widely spoken, and said it’s only a 10 minute walk from London. Ticks a lot of boxes.”

“I respect Señor Bruce,” said the 6 time Ballon d’Or winner. “But obviously I’d need him slung out on his arse before I arrive. And I’d need it in my contract that the club can’t hire Señor Large Sam.”

“Other than that, it’s Howay the Muchachos, no?” he added.