Michael Owen Croc Hunter

Michael Owen has shot and killed the largest saltwater crocodile ever recorded. The Newcastle legend was enjoying a family picnic in Queensland when the 22 foot reptile lunged from the river at a food hamper. Eyewitnesses confirm that Owen wrestled a cheese sandwich from the crocodile’s mouth, before punching it unconscious and eventually shooting it.

Hairy

Michael Owen Gloves“It was a bit hairy,” the former England striker told Soccer on Sunday. “I’ve killed tigers, elephants, platypuses. You name it, I’ve killed it. But this bugger was as tough as old boots. Reminded me of training with Neil Ruddock. Although to be fair, the croc was half a yard quicker than Razor.”