Millwall Hooligans Call for Less Police Before Matches

Millwall fans

Millwall hooligans have strongly criticised the police response to violent scenes before their FA Cup tie with Everton on Saturday. Seven fans were hospitalised following the clashes, a figure the hooligans feel should have been much higher.

Disgrace

Hooligan“It’s a disgrace,” hooligan Mark Lawlor told Soccer on Sunday. “A lot of planning went into Saturday’s violence, but the police have waded in and spoilt it. I respect that they have a job to do, but I smuggled a stanley blade all the way to the ground and didn’t even get to slash anyone. It’s disappointing.”

“Hooligans have rights too,” added the vicious hooligan. “All we want is to engage with rival fans in some constructive violence and a bit of knife banter, but Her Majesty’s finest are making that increasingly difficult.”

Handbags

Danny DyerRenowned hooliganologist Danny Dyer agrees that hooliganism should be allowed run its course without police interference.

“Can you Adam’n’Eve these slags?” he told Soccer on Sunday. “Ooligans ‘avin a right tear-up, and the old bill come steamin’ in to ruin a perfectly good Jackie Chan? Are these James Blunts ‘avin a giraffe?”

“They haven’t a scooby-doo, these Ethan Hunts,” added Dyer. “It’s Pete Tong.”