Moreno on Barca Move: “There is so Much I can Teach Messi”

Messi and Moreno

Alberto Moreno has vowed to help Lionel Messi reach the next level when he joins La Liga pacesetters Barcelona this summer. The Spaniard is finalising a two-year deal that will see him trade Anfield for the Camp Nou in June.

Excited

Moreno“I’m excited for the boy Messi,” Moreno told Soccer on Sunday. “He gets a lot of stick, but there’s talent there. If he is humble and willing to listen, there is so much I can teach the lad. A lot will depend on him though. You can drag a short-arse Argentinian to water, but can you make it drink? That’s not for me to say.”

“I see a lot of myself in Messi,” said the Spanish international. “It’s well documented that I’m shite at defending, and that’s never been his strong suit either. Where we probably differ is that I’m shite going the other direction too, and he’s maybe not got that problem. It’s swings and roundabouts though, to be fair.”

Dream

MessiLionel Messi admits that playing with Moreno will be the fulfilment of a dream.

“Yes, I have dreamt of it,” the five-time Ballon d’Or winner told Soccer on Sunday. “Like one of those dreams where you’re being chased by a T-Rex, but your legs won’t work. I woke up screaming, drenched in what I hope was sweat.”

“Apparently I’ve been mumbling his name in my sleep,” added Messi. “My wife thought I must be having an affair with a hombre called Moreno, so she’s buggered off to her sister’s now with the kids. Thanks a lot Alberto, you cunt.”