Mourinho Bans ‘Boo Boys’ From Old Trafford

Mourinho shush

José Mourinho has banned fans from attending UTD’s home tie against Newcastle on the 18th. The self-styled ‘Special One’ was disappointed with booing during the recent win over Tottenham, and has elected to play behind closed doors at Old Trafford on Saturday week.

Punishment

Mourinho“The fans are fantastic,” Mourinho told Soccer on Sunday. “But they must learn respect. I don’t like to use the word ‘scumbags’. Never. It is an ugly word. But these armchair scumbags think they are Einsteins. Einsteins? Scumsteins, more like. Uneducated, drooling oafs, the lot of them. But do not twist my words, you press scumbags. The fans are fantastic.”

“I do not like when the fans make me hurt them,” added the former Chelsea manager. “But if the booing does not stop, I’ll rename the club Shitchester Uniteshit. It’s no skin off my stunning face. My heart already belongs to PSG.”

Wrong

FergusonAlex Ferguson believes Mourinho is wrong to alienate the club’s fanbase.

“Och,” the legendary manager told Soccer on Sunday. “I cannay agree with the boy Mourinho. He shouldnay act the kent with the poor wee fans. The fans are reet to boo the poxy wee sheetbag. There’s noo doot aboot da.”

“I amnay talkin oot ma fanny flaps here,” added Ferguson. “It’s kents leek Mourinho da’ give all kents a bad neem. There’s noo doot aboot da.”