CCTV footage has emerged of José Mourinho standing semi-naked in the corridors of Old Trafford holding what appears to be a baseball bat. It is alleged that a fracas broke out moments later between players and staff of both clubs, following City’s 2 – 1 derby win.
“It was nothing,” the UTD manager told Soccer on Sunday. “I simply knocked on the door and asked Mikel Arteta to lower the music. They were playing what’s-his-name. The Paul Scholes impersonator. Ed Sheeran? I can’t stand him, or Scholes for that matter. So I asked them to turn it down. ‘Or what?’ said Arteta. So I smashed his face in with my baseball bat. Handbags really.”
“It is normal to clobber a rival in the face with a baseball bat,” added the former Chelsea manager. “Banter, as you English say. I will apologise to Mikel when I see him. Or clobber him again. I don’t have a crystal ball.”
Ed Sheeran admits that he is disappointed to hear his music sparked the fracas.
“I’m gutted,” the singer-songwriter told Soccer on Sunday. “It’s getting harder to ignore stories about my terrible music leading to violence. A man in Guam killed everyone in his village with a chainsaw last week because the local radio station played ‘Galway Girl’. They only played it the once. Bit of an overreaction? Well, that’s not for me to judge. I wasn’t there, and it’s a terrible song.”