Mourinho dog

José Mourinho has been questioned by officers from the London Metropolitan Police after a dog was found poisoned. The English Sheepdog is believed to have served as a brand mascot for paint manufacturers Dulux.

Mourinho

Dog

“Is sad,” Mourinho told Soccer on Sunday. “Perhaps the dog was a warning to the humans who work for Dulux. Insult Spurs on Facetagram or Twitterbook, and people will die. I didn’t kill the dog, but I imagine this is what the handsome poisoner was thinking.”

“The papers say Dulux have more sheepdogs,” said the former UTD manager. “Perhaps the poisoner has more poison too. Checkmate you paintbrush cunts, is probably what he would say. I’m speculating here.”

“A dog today, perhaps the CEO’s family tomorrow,” added Mourinho. “Now is a time for reflection.”