Mourino and Pochettino Deny Paris Kiss Makes them Gay

Mourinho and Pochettino

José Mourinho and Mauricio Pochettino have each denied being gay after photographs emerged of the pair sharing a passionate kiss in Paris yesterday evening. The Premier League managers were attending an FA conference in the city when things appeared to turn raunchy.

Not Gay

Mourinho“No, I’m not gay,” Mourinho told Soccer on Sunday. “You Einsteins in the press see two men french-kissing for 12 or 13 minutes, and you jump to conclusions. This was a kiss of respect between two sexy competitors. Fierce competitors, I mean. Not sure where ‘sexy’ came from. My English is still quite poor.”

“Pochettino is a fantastic manager,” added the UTD boss. “Handsome too. Strong jaw, piercing eyes. Where was I going with this? Oh yes, our relationship is one of colleagues. Do I hope he reads this and calls me because I miss him and can’t stop thinking about him? No. That would be weird.”

Not Gay Either

PochettinoPochettino echoes his rival’s denial.

“No, I’m not gay either,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “You lot in the press see two Premier League managers reaching into each other’s pockets to give one another hand-jobs, and you think it’s about sex. This had nothing to do with sex. It was about respect. Like the respect between two oiled, toned gladiators in loincloths fighting in the Colosseum.”

“He called me handsome?” added Pochettino. “That’s very flattering. When someone who has won three Premier League titles calls you handsome, of course you’re going to get an erection. But as I said, it’s an erection of respect — not gayness.”