Moyes’ Pants Fall Down at First Training Session

Moyes Pants

David Moyes has been criticised after he was snapped with his pants around his ankles during his very first West Ham training session. The Scot has proven an unpopular appointment, and this gaff is unlikely to breathe confidence into an already-sceptical Hammers faithful.

Malfunction

Moyes presser“I suffered a wee wardrobe malfunction,” Moyes told Soccer on Sunday. “Obviously it’s not the first impression I wanted to make, but you lot in the press will make more of it than it was. I didn’t appreciate the close-ups of the skid marks in The Daily Mail. It’s well documented that my washing machine is broke, so it was a bit of a perfect storm, to be fair.”

“I’ve most likely lost the dressing room over this,” added the former UTD manager. “But believe me, from here on out I’ll be working just as hard to keep my pants up as West Ham up.”

Respect

Andy CarrollAndy Carroll admits that Moyes faces an uphill struggle to regain the players’ respect.

“The dressing room is gone,” the Newcastle-born striker told Soccer on Sunday. “The moment the gaffer’s pants touched the turf, you could hear the respect drain away. Joe Hart shouted over, ‘Pull those poo-encrusted bags up Moyesey, you stinky pants shitebag.’ He was dead serious. Nobody laughed, and Moyes just pulled up his pants.”

“They fell down again while he was trying to tie the cord,” added Carroll. “Hartsy roared at him, ‘You can’t do anything right you ginger pox bottle’. A double-knot would be a start, but it’s hard to see a way back for the gaffer from all this.”