Ten Hag

Broadcasting regulator ‘Ofcom’ confirmed that they received more than 3,000 complaints following Sunday’s Carabao Cup final. Victorious UTD boss Erik ten Hag performed a dance described as ‘erotic’ on the Wembley turf.


Ten Hag

“I’d like to apologise,” ten Hag told Soccer on Sunday. “In hindsight, the dance was far too erotic. Particularly pre-watershed. It has been brought to my attention that many young viewers subsequently asked their parents where babies come from. My intention was not to bring forward such conversations.”

“I will learn from this,” said the 53 year-old. “Clearly my sexiness comes with great responsibility, so in future I will try to dial it down to a 3 or 4. Previously it was always set to 11, as my wife will confirm.”

“Hang on,” he added, reaching for his phone. “Bianca darling, you’re on speaker phone. I need you to confirm something.”