Pochettino Wins Bottler of the Month Award for December

Poch Bottler

Mauricio Pochettino has won the FA ‘Bottler of the Month’ award for a record sixth time since taking the reins at Tottenham Hotspur. The London side have won more combined points than any side over the last three seasons, without ever being top of the table.

Honour

Pochettino“I am honoured,” the Argentinian told Soccer on Sunday. “We have worked hard to build a team who shit their pants every time there’s a whiff of the summit. Every day I tell my players, ‘This club has a proud tradition of bottling. You must stand on the shoulders of the bottlers who came before you, and take bottling to new heights. Forge your own reputation as World Class bottling shitebags.'”

“But I can’t pull on a jersey and bottle for them,” added Pochettino. “I tell them that the pressure is unbearable, so get out there and panic for 90 minutes. Credit to the players, they know how to play like a team of sleep-deprived chimpanzees on crystal meth when it counts.”

Winks

WinksHarry Winks, who picked up the Young Bottler of the Month gong for December, believes that Spurs are on the right track.

“The gaffer’s given us that belief to be bottlers,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “Can we be even bigger bottlers? Of course, you’re always striving for perfection. Some might call that a pipe dream, but I honestly believe there’s more bottling to come from this side.”

“We’ve been bottling in third gear,” added the English international.