Police Caution Roy Keane Over David De Gea Threats


Greater Manchester Police have confirmed that an ex-footballer — believed to be Roy Keane — has been cautioned for making violent threats. The Sky Sports pundit suggested that goalkeeper David de Gea should be punched for his performance against Spurs last night.


Keane“Obviously I can’t say too much,” Keane told Soccer on Sunday. “De Gea has brought the police into it, like a typical Spaniard. The senior players need to get a hold of this lad and headbutt some sense into him. Ringing the cops? Brian Clough would always say snitches get stitches, when he assaulted a player or a fan.”

“Don’t get me started on Maguire,” said the former UTD captain. “Maybe he struggles to turn with the weight of his head, but Bergwijn ghosted past him like he wasn’t there. I’d be sticking the barrel of a shotgun into his mouth after training on Monday.”

“Not a loaded gun,” added Keane. “Before the PC brigade get up in arms.”